


those gray hours before sunrise

by AnxietyAvocado



Series: from dusk til dawn, i'll stay with you [6]
Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 12:15:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24849631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnxietyAvocado/pseuds/AnxietyAvocado
Summary: following the reveal during akito's little conversation with tohru, kyo feels like he needs to talk to someone, anyone - even if it's not real.
Relationships: Honda Tohru/Sohma Kyou
Series: from dusk til dawn, i'll stay with you [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727083
Kudos: 22





	those gray hours before sunrise

_I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I HATE HIM._

It felt as though Kyo's blood was on fire, burning him from the inside out with his hate, his anger. 

And, even worse, his shame. 

If there was anyone that Kyo hated more than Akito in this moment, it was himself. Those two fires burned inside him so often that he was sure his lungs were scarred and black with ash, that his heart was cracked like the foundation of a house, only visible after debris was cleared away. He had always known that Akito was awful, the worst kind of person, the most manipulative and angry kind of human being. He was abusive, and lashed out at anyone and anything that ruined his perfect little world. That hatred he could live with. But Kyo felt as though he could hardly breathe as he choked on the hatred that he carried for himself and his worst sin - cowardice. 

There were so many things in life that he had done wrong. He had failed his mother, he had failed Tohru, Kyoko, disappointed Kazuma, broken Shigure's house more times than he could count (he only felt bad about some of those incidents though, sometimes the stupid Dog deserved it), he was angry and bitter and always itching for a fight. He lashed out, said the wrong thing, pushed people away, hurt people just to get a reaction out of them....

But nothing, absolutely nothing that he had done in his life, was as bad as standing there hiding behind a door, rooted to the spot in fear as Akito hurt Tohru. 

It didn't matter that Haru was holding him back - he had only realized later when he felt the faint bruises forming on his arm from how hard his cousin had been gripping him. It only mattered that Akito was hurting Tohru, saying those awful things (even though they were true), and he hadn't done anything to help her. Hell, even Momiji had at least run to get Shigure and Hatori. The stupid rabbit had been more helpful than he was. All Kyo had done was stand there, fear seared into his very soul, trembling from top to bottom with rage and adrenaline, every nerve in his body shouting at him to _protect Tohru_ , and he had done precisely nothing. 

Fuck the curse, he thought savagely. And fuck Akito for bringing that into Tohru's life. Did their _god_ realize what he had done? He was sure that Shigure reported to the main house, happy to run back to Akito like a dog bringing a slobbery tennis ball to its master, so Akito probably knew exactly what kind of person they all thought Tohru was. Who else would have thought to get Akito out here? Shigure, with his shit-eating grin, had been too peppy lately... It had to be him.

With time running out like grains of sand through the hourglass, Kyo didn't have much time left. Why did what little he had have to be spoiled? 

The way he was thinking was spoiled though - it was just like him, to focus on his own anger and hate instead of worrying about the people actually involved. Not Akito - he could fuck off and take a long walk off a short pier for all Kyo cared. But Momiji, he was hurt. And Tohru was obviously put through the ringer. It had been so long since he had heard her voice so... fragile. Breakable. Destroyed. 

So, he did the only thing he could do. Kyo sat in the hallway outside of Tohru's room, where she was holed up with Momiji and Kisa, and glared daggers at anyone who dared come near. Yuki had gone off God-only-knew where, and even Hiro looked shaken enough to not want to mouth off for once. That just left him and Haru, and the first couple of times his cousin had walked past the hallway, the glare was enough to keep him away. But eventually, Haru slid down the wall to sit next to him, leaning his head back and letting his eyes close. 

"You should get some sleep," Haru murmured. 

Kyo didn't move. "You should fuck right off and leave me here," he grumbled. All he wanted to do was talk to Tohru, apologize to her for not being enough _again,_ for not doing the right thing even though it would cost him his personal comfort and safety. But he couldn't do that, even in his own head, with Haru here. 

It felt like hours passed before Haru moved, shuffling off to bed with a comment that Kyo should grab a blanket if he was going to stay there all night. He didn't respond, eyes fixed on the door like they had been since he had sat down ages ago, determined not to move until he knew she was alright. Kyo knew that he would do whatever he could to keep Tohru safe until he couldn't, but then he knew that Momiji and even Yuki would be there for her. But that wasn't their job yet, it was his. And he was damned if he was going to fail her again if he could help it. 

_I'm sorry, Tohru. All I do is hurt you, especially by not doing anything. I let **her** get hurt, die. I didn't keep you away from Black Haru when I should have. I didn't tell those guys at school to fuck off and not even talk about you. I can't keep you safe from Akito. I want to. That's what you're supposed to do for the girl you... You know. The girl you love. And I can't do any of that. Selfish selfish selfish, I've been so goddamn selfish that I don't even know how to fix thing. Please don't leave us. Please don't leave me. Not until I have to go. Stay with me. Stay with me until you can't, and stay safe. I'd pray to every god there is, if it helps. _


End file.
